What does a healthy marriage look like? How do we know if our relationships are healthy or not? And how can we change it to make it healthier?
Marriage and relationships are some of the most important things in life, but they’re also one of the hardest things for us to understand.
We often don’t have much experience with them, so we tend to think that they should be easy. But as you may have noticed, they aren’t. They’re hard work.
In this article, we talk about what makes up a healthy marriage, so you can create your own version of a wonderful, healthy marriage!
What Is A Healthy Marriage?
A healthy relationship looks like love, respect, trust, commitment, communication, honesty, and lots of fun.
These are all great qualities to have in any type of relationship, but especially in a romantic relationship. If we see these traits in a relationship, then it’s a good sign of a healthy relationship.
But it doesn’t end there! To really know if something is healthy, we need to take it even further. We need to look at whether it’s growing and changing over time.
We want to know if the relationship is improving or getting worse.
So let’s analyze certain traits that signify a marriage is healthy.
Healthy Boundaries
The first thing we must consider when looking at a healthy relationship is boundaries. This means being able to set clear limits on ourselves and others.
It can mean saying no to someone who wants more than we feel comfortable giving. It can mean asking for help when we need it or apologizing when we hurt someone else.
Furthermore, it’s important to figure out what your boundaries are, and what your boundaries are in the context of a marriage. It could be boundaries regarding your emotions, job, spare time, expectations, and so forth.
Boundaries are essential because, without them, we could easily get stuck in unhealthy patterns. When we have unhealthy boundaries, we might allow people to ask more of us than we can give. It can cause resentment and conflict.
When we have healthy boundaries, we’re able to say no. The partner should accept this, and also have their own boundaries.
It could be that there is a conflict, but boundaries are respected, and instead of overstepping one’s boundaries, a resolution is found.
This helps us grow as individuals, and it allows us to live more freely.
Healthy Communication
Another way to tell if a relationship is healthy is by seeing how well two partners communicate with each other.
In order to communicate effectively, both parties must be willing to listen. Both should be open to hearing the other person’s point of view.
There needs to be an atmosphere where everyone feels safe enough to share their feelings, honestly. Body language should also be understood.
By paying attention to our spouse’s body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, and gestures, we can better understand what they’re trying to communicate.
Conflicts are normal in relationships, but if couples are constantly arguing, couples won’t be able to hear each other’s side of the story. If people only focus on their own point of view, it will inevitably lead to misunderstandings.
If we’re always talking past each other, we won’t learn anything new. We won’t be able to resolve conflicts. And ultimately, we won’t be happy.
It takes practice to master effective communication. But if you work hard at it, you’ll find yourself having fewer arguments, and feeling closer to your partner.
No Assumptions
In a healthy marriage, couples do not jump to conclusions or have preconceived notions about what the other is thinking or saying.
They don’t assume things just because they think they know what the other person is going through.
They are aware of the fact that they may not fully understand another person’s situation. So they try to avoid making assumptions.
Instead, they seek to understand the other person and listen to them.
For example, if a wife tells her husband she thinks he has been distant lately, he would rather talk to his wife about why she thinks this, instead of assuming the reasons why.
He’d like to hear her perspective and then decide together how to fix the situation.
Relationships are built on trust and respect. If we start assuming things about each other, it makes it harder to build those bonds.
No Grudges
Healthy marriages are built on mutual respect, forgiveness, and letting go of petty grievances.
A mature couple works through their differences and moves forward together. They can talk about their feelings and problems openly, without the fear of grudges being held.
The reason for this is simple: When we hold onto grudges, we become bitter and resentful towards others. Our anger grows until it becomes unbearable. We feel so hurt that we lash out.
We need to let go of any resentment we might still have from previous hurts. By doing this, we can move forward and enjoy life again.
A healthy relationship means learning to forgive. This doesn’t mean forgetting what happened, but simply moving on.
They Have Friends
One thing that sets apart a healthy marriage from one that isn’t is the presence of friends.
When a couple has good friends who care about them, they have someone to turn to when times get tough. It gives them hope and strength.
Having good friends helps us realize that we aren’t alone in this world. Friends give us support and encouragement when we’re down. They make sure we see the bright side of everything, including marriage.
Plus, it’s important to have a life outside the marriage, it’s important to have your own set of friends and your own individuality.
This will help you remember that you and your partner are not one person, you are two individuals that are committed in a union.
They Do Not See Their Partner As The Enemy
A healthy marriage involves working together with your spouse.
There shouldn’t be an adversarial attitude between partners. Partners should be willing to compromise and discuss issues openly.
They should both be willing to listen to each other, and not put unreasonable demands on the other.
You should never look at your partner as “the enemy,” because they are not.
They are one of your best friends, and they are here for you. They love you unconditionally and are always ready to support you.
If you ever find yourself getting angry or frustrated with your partner, take a step back and think about why you’re feeling this way.
It could be because you’ve taken something personally, or maybe it’s because you’re having trouble communicating with them.
When most couples get divorced, they experience periods of hating and resenting the other person. They lost sight of their union, and instead of loving that person for who they are, they view them as an enemy.
It’s important to remember that you married the person you did because you loved them, not because you hated them!
They Don’t Take Each Other For Granted
When you marry someone, you enter into a lifelong commitment. You don’t want to do anything that will jeopardize this bond.
Think about how much you love your partner, and how lucky you are to have found such a special person. It can be easy to get lost within conflicts, and the madness of life.
Sometimes, you may focus on the negative, and end up taking your partner for granted.
In a healthy marriage, couples do not take each other for granted. They remember the importance of the other, and the importance of the union. They always treat them with kindness and appreciation.
That does not mean they do not argue or get annoyed at each other — it means that in the end, they are always grateful for the other.
Summary
The main thing to keep in mind is that relationships take work.
A healthy marriage involves good communication, no assumptions, letting go of small issues, and remembering why they fell in love, in the first place.
If you’re going through some difficult times right now, I encourage you to seek out counseling.
Counselors can help you understand what’s happening, and they can also teach you ways to cope with these situations.
I hope that all of this information was helpful. Please let me know if you have any questions!
