Tag Archives: why marriage

Why is Marriage Relevant Today?

 I have been reading a lot from single women who do not see the need for marriage in the modern world, where their careers and independence are paramount.

I realize marriage is not for everyone, but perhaps the benefits are still not well known. For me, economic benefits are not the best reason to marry. This snippet from Smart Marriages helps put things into perspective for those who choose marriage:

Way back 50 years ago, everyone got married. It’s what you did.  No questions asked.  Today, not so much.  So you might ask, why do we get married?  What’s the use?  Because, we need a witness to our lives.  There are a billion people on this planet.  What does any one life really mean?  But in a marriage, you’re promising to care about everything.  The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things.  All of it.  All the time, every day.  You are saying, “Your life will not go unnoticed, because I will notice it. Your life will not go unwitnessed, because I will be your witness.”

We often hear people say, “Is there anything more beautiful than a young couple clasping hands, in love on the path of marriage? Can there be anything more beautiful than young love?”  And the answer is, “Yes, there is a more beautiful thing. It is the spectacle of an old man and an old woman finishing their journey together on that path.  Their hands are gnarled, but still clasped; their faces are seamed, but still radiant.  Their hearts are physically bowed and tired, but still strong with love and devotion for one another. Yes, there is a more beautiful thing than young love. That thing is old love.”

If you have chosen marriage, then it’s time to get fully on board and not question what your life would be if you had chosen a different path. Are you waiting to be loved, or are you going to love your spouse today…right now?

The Time is Now
If you are ever going to love me,
Love me now, while I can know
The sweet and tender feelings
Which from true affection flow.
Love me now
While I am living.
Do not wait until I’m gone
And then have it chiseled in marble,
Sweet words on ice-cold stone.
If you have tender thoughts of me,
Please tell me now.
Unknown

Note: Please follow (“like”) the Facebook page for my upcoming book, First Kiss to Lasting Bliss: Hope & Inspiration for Your Marriage at www.Facebook.com/LastingBliss and learn more about it at www.LoriDLowe.com.

Does Marriage Benefit Adults or Just Children?

Do you believe the institution of marriage has outlived its value in modern society?

As a followup to the post on “Marriage Haves” and “Have Nots”, which cited a data-rich article in National Affairs, researcher David Lapp has drawn some very interesting conclusions to the data in his brief, yet eloquent, column with The Witherspoon Institute called, “Marriage as Friendship.” It is definitely worth the read to understand the answer to his crucial question: Is the institution of marriage good for adults, and if so, why? The answers and evidence are thought-provoking and may surprise you.

While marriage has been shown to be beneficial to children, Lapp considers whether we have evidence that it is also beneficial to adults. He divides marriage into two types. The first is the institutional marriage model, which is a lifelong endeavor that seeks to create “the best kind of friendship” bound together by virtue and common good. The second type is the soul-mate model, which prioritizes the adults’ emotional wellbeing and depends on mutual emotional satisfaction.

Lapp brings up many of the common arguments against marriage to determine if they have merit. Without giving away too much detail, following is one of Lapp’s conclusions:

“The institutional model doesn’t guarantee that every married person will thrive, but it does secure marriage to a more solid foundation than utility or pleasure. For adults searching for love, then, the institutional model of marriage is hardly a sentence to slavery, but rather an invitation to the good life.”

What do you think about the “Marriage as Friendship” model? Are you living what he describes as the good life?