Tag Archives: more sex

Blogger Educates Men on Getting Lucky with Wives

Keeping the Sparks Alive” Series

When eight women get together to talk openly about love, sex, and marriage, it can be a very eye-opening experience. Sarah Barton (not her real name) found such value in these discussions with her friends that she opted to make those talks public with the blog, Anonymous8, on the condition that they all keep their identities a secret. Why? For one, they want to be as honest as possible, and for two, many of the women have children old enough to be completely embarrassed by their moms’ candor. The resulting discussions are “smart discussions on taboo topics” on everything involved with love and marriage. Check out the discussions here at Anonymous8 from date night ideas to tips from a woman who needs no sex advice.

Initially designed to be a womens-only forum, Sarah found that quite a few men enjoyed lurking around to hear what women really had to say. The more she heard from men, the more she realized how frustrated some of them are about their love lives, particularly after kids come and their wife’s sex drive and available time falls. As a result, Sarah penned Getting Lucky with the Wife to help men keep their relationships fresh and to learn to communicate effectively with their wives in a way that is respectful and not nagging. This book is aimed at couples in which the husband has a higher sex drive than the wife, and it’s written for husbands who would like to increase the amount of quality sex in their marriage.

Sarah has a background in her “real life” in strategic planning, so the 60-page e-book is more than a quick read; it’s a business book about your most personal business. By following the steps, husbands end up with an action plan they can immediately begin to put into practice.

Starting by providing a knowledge base of a woman’s body, it begins with some education about why a woman’s sex drive can be different and why it doesn’t mean she isn’t attracted to her mate. He can start to understand what’s going on with his wife and then help her understand the importance of sex in his life.

Sarah then helps husbands understand what has worked in the past, whether that’s date nights, helping out at home, increasing romance, etc. There are plenty of ideas on how to change the patterns that occur in many marriages. I think the most important aspect of the book includes tips on how best to communicate with the wife about these matters in a way that isn’t blaming, demeaning or disrespectful. In fact, the husband is invited to tell the wife about the book and the steps he is taking rather than using it as a secret strategy to get into bed more often. It’s about both partners getting more of what they want and nurturing the relationship.

Sarah says if sex is important to you, fight for it. She adds that there are many ideas in the book worth trying, and even if only one idea is effective for you to improve your long-term love life, it would certainly be worth the $18 cost of the book. I think the book is an excellent tool for men and women who want to help bridge the gap between the differences in their sex drives and who wish to understand each other better. If this sounds like you, check out Getting Lucky with the Wife (affiliate link). Sarah even offers a 30-day moneyback guarantee if you think it wasn’t effective.

LINKS:
So Cute, So Hard on a Marriagea good post from the Wall Street Journal about the effects of children in a marriage and pre-emptive steps that can help.

Keys to thriving in marriage and how happily married couples can help build and support marriages from StrengtheningMarriage.com.

Considering bariatric surgery? Read about how marriage rules may change after bariatric surgery.

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Want a Happier Marriage? Have More Sex.

There appears to be a strong correlation between happiness and frequency of intimacy in a marriage. In fact, some of you already know this, by the looks of a large-scale national study, which showed married people have more and better sex than do their unmarried counterparts. (And singles think they’re having all the fun.)

Sociologist Denise A. Donnelly explains, “While sex isn’t the only important thing in a marriage, it matters more than many believe. Couples who don’t have satisfying sex lives are more likely to get divorced. Plus, regular, intimate sex can help increase general happiness.” Donnelly adds, “Happy couples have more sex, and the more sex a couple has, the happier they report being.”

Certain transition periods for couples are likely to reduce the frequency of intimacy, such as when dealing with significant health problems or becoming new parents. A BBC study detailed 500 women’s experiences with pregnancy and how their sex lives were affected. On average, they had sex half as frequently during pregnancy as they did before pregnancy, and that dropped further after the baby was born. The biggest obstacles they cited were feeling too tired, stressed, suffering from depression, or having post-baby body image issues. However, three-fourths of them reported being tired but very happy.

Researchers of the study (conducted for Prima Baby magazine) said there is a perfectly normal period of adjustment for couples as they become new parents, when their focus on naturally on their new child. Also, it may take months for the woman’s hormones to come back into balance after birth. Women who experience pain, discomfort or complete lack of libido should see their physician.

The responsibilities of parenthood notwithstanding, couples who focus for years on their little ones and neglect their own relationships will likely see a significant decline in marital happiness. Experts warn of treating one another like roommates, which can happen when household and work responsibilities consistently take higher priority than the marriage.

The good news is that most married couples are doing something right. Not only do married couples have sex more often, but they enjoy it more, both physically and emotionally. 1

1 Linda J. Waite and Kara Joyner, “Emotional and Physical Satisfaction with Sex in Married, Cohabitating, and Dating Sexual Unions: Do Men and Women Differ?” Pp. 239-269 in E. O. Laumann and R.T. Michael, eds., Sex, Love and Health in America (Chicago, IL: University of Chicago Press, 2001); Edward O. Laumann, J.H. Gagnon, R.T. Michael and S. Michaels, The Social Organization of Sexuality: Sexual Practices in the Unites States (Chicago, IL: University of Chicago Press, 1994).