Tag Archives: keeping romance in marriage

How to Keep Your Marriage Alive with Exciting Dates

Thanks to Sarah Fanning for providing today’s guest post! While going on dates with your spouse is not a panacea for the perfect marriage, too few couples make time and effort to spend together having fun. See if some of Sarah’s suggestions prompt some creativity for you and your love.

Guest Post by Sarah Fanning:

When a couple has been married for a number of years, things can become a little boring. The truth is that when a couple is together for a long time, the relationship can end up feeling like it’s stuck. But if two people are willing to put in the work, there’s no reason why the spark can’t be re-lit in a marriage.

Relationships require effort. To keep a marriage fresh, both people in it need to be committed to fully being present in the relationship. Time must be set aside to spend together, without the kids. The couple has to take time to remind each other what it was like when it was just the two of them, before there was a family to support and a mortgage which had to be paid. The best way to do that will be to always carve out a space where they can remain physically, emotionally, and spiritually connected with one another.

Here are a few fun date ideas for the married couple looking to keep that spark alive and well.

1. Cook together
Send the kids to the grandparents’ (or neighbors’) and schedule a candlelit dinner at home for two. Find a recipe neither of you has made before then learn to prepare it as a team. Turn the TV off and turn on the music and just hang out together as you discover something new together. As the food is being prepared, there will be opportunities to talk, laugh, and enjoy being together. Once the dinner is finished, sit down and enjoy the meal by the light of the candles.

2. Take a road trip
Going on a weekend road trip is a great way for a couple to get away and find some alone time. No matter where you live, there’s bound to be an interesting spot perfect for a weekend getaway. It could be a spa retreat or a camping trip, the main point is to get away and try something new and interesting as a couple.

3. A “rolling back the years” date
Many times when a couple has been married for a while, they stop doing the things they used to do when they first began dating. Having a “rolling back the years” date is a good way for a couple to have fun and recapture what it was like when they were young and in love. Go skating, bowling, or hiking and have fun reminiscing about those early days. This is a good way for a couple to call to their remembrance what made them fall in love with each other in the first place.

4. Have some fun
The sky’s the limit when it comes to deciding on what to do during the time spent together as a couple. Be creative and think of new things to experience together. The goal is to have fun, learn new things about the world, each other, and ultimately, strengthen the bond in the marriage.

Sarah has worked in the relationship industry and currently works for a dating agency in London called Lovestruck. During this time, she has improved her knowledge to help those looking for relationship advice and understands how important it is to keep relationships alive by using your imagination and initiative to show your partner how much you care for them. Good luck and have fun!

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Thanks again, Sarah. As a reminder, research continues to support doing NEW, EXCITING things as a way to increase your oxytocin levels and increase the strength of the marriage bond. If you have other exciting dating ideas, feel free to add them in the comments.

Lori Lowe is the founder of Marriage Gems and author of First Kiss to Lasting Bliss: Hope & Inspiration for Your Marriage. It tells the inspiring, true stories of couples who used adversity to improve their marriages–from overcoming drug addiction to cancer, infidelity, religious differences, family interference and infertility, among many others. It’s available at Amazon.com and in all e-book formats at www.LoriDLowe.com.

Photo by photostock courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net.

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Have an Affair with Your Spouse

As a follow up to Are You Jealous of Your Friend’s Divorce?, I said I would offer some research-based advice to make your marriage exciting and satisfying so that you wouldn’t be tempted by other options outside your marriage. So here are some tips with further reading:

Plan New, Exciting Activities
I’ve said it before, married life isn’t dull, or at least it doesn’t need to be. Two interesting people will lead and interesting life together. It may take a nudge to get us out of our comfort zones on occasion, but don’t be afraid to make a change, try something new, learn a new skill, volunteer together, etc. Read Choose Exciting Over Pleasant Activities to Boost Marriage, then along with your spouse make a list of things you would each like to do that are exciting. Rate each activity 1-10 for pleasantness and excitement. Find something that you both find moderately pleasant but high on the excitement scale. Then, put it on the calendar and make it happen.

Shun Boredom Both In and Out of the Bedroom
Read Banish Boredom from the Bedroom with 7 useful tips from the author of Hot Monogamy, Patricia Love. Boredom outside of the bedroom can be just as deadly. Research shows conflict isn’t the only cause of divorce; boredom can kill a marriage. Being bored reduces closeness and slowly decreases marital satisfaction. Find shared fun activities and new adventures to keep your relationship exciting. Research shows that if partners experience excitement from other sources (such as participating in new, challenging activities together), this shared experience can reignite the passion in your marriage!

Keep Romance Alive
Read 7 Ways to Create Sparks Every Day for tips on keeping those romantic flames burning.

Bottom Line
If you can only focus on one thing, spend more dedicated, quality time with your spouse. Remember why you fell in love and focus on those positive attributes.

What are your biggest challenges in keeping your relationship fun, interesting and exciting? Most people will say time is their biggest challenge. Make your marriage a top priority if you would like to increase your happiness in love and life.

Photo by savit keaw tavee courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net.