Pope Francis addressed the fear of getting married and the secrets to living together happily when 10,000 engaged couples gathered in St. Peter’s Square on Valentine’s Day. The leader of the world’s largest Christian church had some interest advice for these young lovers.
First addressing the fear of “forever,” he said, “It is important to ask ourselves if it is possible to love one another forever. He continued, “Today many people are afraid of making definitive decisions that affect them for all their lives, because it seems impossible…and this mentality leads many who are preparing for marriage to say, ‘We will stay together for as long as our love lasts’.”
If love were merely an emotion, it would likely not last, but if instead it is a relationship, then it is a growing reality, that can be built together just as a house is built, he explained. “You would not wish to build it on the shifting sands of emotions, but on the rock of true love, the love that comes from God,” the Pope said. “We must not allow ourselves to be conquered by a ‘throwaway culture’.”
In answering a question about how to live together in love, the Pope responded that “living together is an art, a patient and beautiful and fascinating journey…which can be summarized in three words: please, thanks and sorry.” Please will reflect the kindness and care with which spouses treat one another. “True love does not impose itself with hardness and aggression.” Gratitude is an important sentiment, he explained, both toward one another as well as toward the God who provided the gift of your spouse. And sorry will be needed for the many mistakes we all make. He warned the engaged couples that the perfect family does not exist, nor the perfect husband, nor the perfect wife (nor even the perfect mother-in-law). However, learning to apologize, offer forgiveness and make peace each day (and not ending the day angry) will allow the marriage to last.
He tweeted on the same day this message: Dear young people, don’t be afraid to marry. A faithful and fruitful marriage will bring you happiness.
Read the Pope’s full remarks here. What do you think allows couples to maintain their love over a lifetime of marriage?
Lori Lowe is the author of First Kiss to Lasting Bliss: Hope & Inspiration for Your Marriage. It tells the inspiring, true stories of couples who used adversity to improve their marriages–from overcoming drug addiction to cancer, infidelity, religious differences, family interference and infertility, among many others. It’s available at Amazon.com and in various e-book formats here.