Tag Archives: David Clarke

Do You Kiss Your Spouse Like You Mean It?

As I was listening to a recent radio program explaining the top kissing mistakes of spouses, I had to plead guilty of all of them at some point. In fact, when I left the house this afternoon, I didn’t offer my hubby any kind of kiss, just a friendly, “See you later!” Psychologist David Clarke, author of Kiss Me Like You Mean It would not approve.

He says kissing “like you mean it” is a sign of your devotion and passion for one another. He says the following are considered big no-no’s in marriage:

1. The Pathetic Little Peck Kiss (connecting for a millisecond)

2. The Poofy Lip Kiss (leaning forward and barely grazing your spouse’s lips)

3. The across-the-room (or across-the-yard) Sound-Effect Kiss when you’re too rushed to even bother with #1 or #2.

4. The Dreaded Kiss on the Cheek Kiss, when you move your lips at the last second so your spouse’s lips land on your cheek. These should be reserved for your aunt or your mother, he says, not your spouse.

Dr. Clarke suggests remembering or learning how to kiss can lead to a better sex life and help put the passion back on your relationship—even if you’re married to a woman who steals the sheets (as I do) or makes funny noises during sleep (as my husband sometimes does).

I remember listening to another marriage expert suggest you kiss for at least 10 seconds when you greet or leave one another. We tried it, but it didn’t stick. On the other hand, we did adopt a habit to always greet each other with a kiss and hug before we greet our kids.

I asked my husband about his thoughts on my lack of a kiss earlier today, and it didn’t faze him a bit. In fact, this “kiss like you mean it” business sounds a little too dramatic for him and isn’t really a sign of how much I care about him.

So, what do you think, is a peck on the cheek on your way to the grocery store such a bad thing? Or do we all need to ease into behaving more passionately at every opportunity? How do you greet or depart from one another each morning or evening? Do you think there’s a time and a place for “kissing like you mean it,” or would you even kiss passionately in front of your teenager?

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