Tag Archives: CNN

Focus on Your First Dream: To be Held and Loved

I was taken in by this piece on CNN from Josh Levs about our first dreams. Josh is a journalist and speaks about committing to your big dreams. For example, he says, “Everyone should chase big dreams. It brings a deep sense of satisfaction. And it makes the world better. We have advanced societies, stronger buildings to withstand storms, medical discoveries, technology, entertainment and so much more because dreamers pursued their visions and worked hard to make them happen.”

But in one moment, Josh’s career dreams and other “big” dreams fell away, and he instantly recalled his earliest and clearest dream.

The moment was three months before his second son was to be born, when his wife fell to the floor and began having an emergency delivery at home. The baby was emerging with the umbilical cord wrapped five times about his neck. The baby was still with his eyes closed. Josh was guiding the delivery and receiving instruction from the 911 operator, and was able to unwrap the cord and allow his son to breathe.

“In the moment my son was being born, all my professional dreams ceased to exist. In that room, it was just the four of us — my wife, our then 3-year-old son, the baby, and me. Family and fatherhood were all I saw. Life was shining a spotlight on my original dream. The first dreams we ever had were to be held. And loved. And to explore this amazing world with love in our lives.”

In his TED talk about the vent, Josh explains that he instantly had laser focus on his priorities: family, love and love connections.

How often do we reflect on our original desire to be loved—to feel that love connection with others? Are we so busy chasing other dreams that we forget it? Dream-chasing can be addictive, says Josh. “Some people become so obsessed with making one idea happen that they stop focusing on what’s most important in their lives. They stop spending time with their families and friends. As with any addiction, they pay a price.”

He suggests you not forget your big dreams or neglect to follow them. “But along the way, keep in mind that the best, most amazing, most rewarding and, ultimately, most fulfilling dream is the first one we all ever felt.”

Do you agree that deep down this dream or desire to be held and to feel love was your first dream? Are you focused on your dreams? If so, your “big” life dreams, or the dreams you were born with?

Related Post:
Where is the Treasure of Your Heart?

Photo by Dynamite Imagery courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

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Marriage Isn’t for Everyone

Just because I chose marriage doesn’t mean it’s the right choice for everyone. Sometimes I think we as a culture should offer more grace and kindness to those who are not coupled up. Many of the readers here are unmarried. Some of you are engaged, or dating, or even single.

Two prominent CNN articles that have been bouncing around the internet only underscore my desire to spread more compassion.  If you haven’t read them, you should. First, they’re entertaining. Second, they’re thought-provoking.

The first writer, Tracy McMillia, wrote a scathing critique called Why You’re Not Married. Her blunt explanations may cover the reasons some of your unmarried friends are not wed, but they would be offensive to most of them. The seven possible reasons she gives for a woman who wants to be married and isn’t include: She’s a bitch, shallow, a slut, a liar, selfish, or she thinks she’s not good enough. Wow, tell us what you really think. It should be noted that she has had three failed marriages, but was “born knowing how to get married.”

CNN’s Jessica Ravitz (pictured above) countered with an extremely graceful and well-written response, Why I’m Not Married (and it’s not because I’m an angry slut). In short, she says dealing with two parental divorces, the sudden death of her father, and calling off her engagement when she had serious doubts doesn’t make her a complete loser. And it doesn’t make her unhappy. It just means life got in the way of her finding her guy at the right moment. Single people can be happier than those in relationships, especially when those relationships are troubled.

Some people who really would like to get married simply haven’t met someone they want to spend their life with. Others would simply choose not to take on the commitment of marriage. I think it’s wiser than marrying without having a strong commitment, particularly when children are involved.

I remain a strong marriage advocate, and I believe children do best when they grow up with two married parents. But I also think we as a society need to be more respectful and compassionate to others who don’t make the same choices at the same life stage as we do. If we treat single people as incomplete, always trying to match them up, it demeans them as a person. Celebrate and lift up your single and married friends.

What’s your take on the issue? Are you looking to marry but haven’t found “the one” (that’s a whole new post)? Or is marriage not the right choice for you right now? If you’re happily married, how do you treat the single people around you?

Photo credit: Robert Johnson/CNN