With pre-marital living so common and accepted in today’s society, many couples already have a lot of what was traditionally gifted to newlyweds.
If you have lived together for a couple of years, the chances are that you don’t need any tea-towels, have plenty of crockery and cutlery, and whilst wine glasses are always handy, you already have a cupboard full of them.
What you really want as a wedding gift is cold hard cash right?
It is never easy to ask for money and can be a really awkward task for some people who don’t feel comfortable doing it. Some prefer to hint whilst others will go the much more direct option and not worry about offending anyone in the process.
Whichever category you and your partner fall into, this informative guide will discuss the options ahead for various approaches and the many considerations for you both to take into account before making your decision on how to ask;
Poetry In Motion
A novelty for some has become a profession for others in respect of writing a little poem in the invitations to declare your wishes. This poem again can either be tactful or blunt about what you want but it also presents an innovative way of telling your guests not to give presentations but instead make a financial contribution.
Something like this example may be appropriate to get the message across:
“Your presence alone is gift enough, as we approach our special day,
In a moment of cheek, there is something we seek,
So here is a request if we may.
A place in the sun, would be so much fun, as we celebrate our new life together.
By giving us money, we aren’t being funny but is something we will always treasure.
Our house is complete, so what would be neat is to go far far away.
As part of our celebration, would you make a donation so we do not have to pay!”
Be Discreet
The subtle approach can frustrate some but is often a nice balance between maintaining traditional manners and leaving a lot to the imagination. The thrill of not k owing what people will do can produce an adrenaline rush that is attractive to some couples.
The risk is that your hints are not strong enough and instead of a healthy sum of money coming your way which would be really useful, you end up inundated with bath towels, which are not.
If you are going to be discreet, make sure it is just that and not leaning more towards secrecy or you will be ones losing out in the end.
The Direct Approach
Don’t beat about the bush, just tell people. If you have been a wedding guest and spent too much time deliberating what to gift people then you know the pain of indecision. Take that out of the equation for everyone and give yourselves some breathing space.
Telling people what you would prefer to receive (If they choose to give) is not rude, it is not presumptuous it is thoughtful and sensible planning whilst showing due care and consideration for loved ones.
Delegate It
Spread the word about your plans via a gobby bridesmaid or drunken groomsmen at a nice early stage, the hen and stag do’s are the perfect opportunity to get the ball rolling with one of your louder and extroverted friends doing the deed for you.
Tell them about their task and generally these types of people will relish the chance of telling others straight. We all have one in the friendship circle or family that calls a spade a spade and is very direct and upfront with their opinions.
These are the characters you need to let your wishes be known. Before you know it, they will have had it out with everyone in attendance (and probably some strangers in the vicinity that aren’t even coming to the wedding!)
These personalities will have got the low-down on who plans on giving you what and been quick to correct them if it isn’t the money you desire.
Getting other people to do the dirty work is extremely satisfying for them and less stressful for you. In a matter of no time, word will be around various social media groups and most of, if not all of your guests will get the memo about what to get you as a gift.
Make A List
Not in the traditional sense but the theory is the same. You can do the modern equivalent of producing a wish list for guests to pick a present from which is perfectly acceptable to do and increasingly popular amongst couples.
What the latest craze is to do a bit of a twist and rather than a conventional list of basic household materials for guests to go and pick their own and gift to you, you and your partner get specific.
This is easily done via a few online stores and department stores which means you can choose your favorite one and then go in and pick a selection of items from that particular shop and the exact ranges and products you want.
This is not asking for money upfront but more of a contribution to the things you desire so there is no awkwardness for the guest not knowing what brand to choose or price to pay because it is laid out in front of them.
Similarly for you, by stating you want a certain type of roof rack for argument’s sake, you can pinpoint one you like and one that fits your car rather than just writing roof rack and your Uncle Joe and Aunty Flora think they know you and get something totally unsuitable.
It is a way of asking for them to pay for things you want without the method or approach of actually having to ask them for the money. Even though you are telling them what you want, it is a much more subtle way of going about your business.
There is also the opportunity for guests to part contribute to more expensive items if they do not want to pay the full price.
For example, if you have listed a $200 microwave and they only want to gift $100 then others can chip in to complete the purchase or you can even tip up remaining balances on favorite sought-after items yourselves at a later date.
The Honeymoon Heartstrings
Use the romance to your advantage and the emotion of the occasion to lay it on thick and give a sob story about not being able to afford your dream honeymoon.
Make out that without the help and assistance of your generous guests, your once-in-a-lifetime trip may not happen or could be severely downgraded as times are hard. Some of your guests will have been in this exact situation and show sympathy by giving money towards the honeymoon.
Those that haven’t can emphasize with you and also put their hands in their pockets to help you out as long as you are clear and direct in your message. If you are wishy-washy and leave it to chance, you could end up with 40 picture frames and a tonne of Yankee Candles rather than paying off your luxurious five-star accommodation in the sun.
Your travel provider is likely to have a link so that guests can pay into the account and you will be able to see the balance reduce as more and more contribute, leaving you and your partner less to pay.
This also provides the guest some assurance that they are making a worthwhile contribution and giving you something useful rather than some extra soup spoons and kitchen knives to weather dust in the spare drawer.
The reality is that most of your sob story will actually be true, it is hard to pay for a quality honeymoon after the expense of a wedding. Whether you exaggerate, tell a few white lies, or lay it all out there on the line this is the best chance of getting your honeymoon paid for.
