Speak now or forever hold your peace’ is a famous line said in many traditional ceremonies. Most of the time, it’s met with silence from the guests, however, on the rare occasion, there may be an objection to the union.
Whilst it may not be as dramatic as Shrek’s famous ‘I Object’ line in the 2001 animated movie, however, it can put a dampener on your special day and sometimes even ruin it.
However, what happens if someone objects at a wedding? We’ll be answering this question right here.
What Happens When Someone Objects At Your Wedding?
Objections at weddings after the officiant has said the line ‘speak now or forever hold your peace’ is to question the legalities of the union and not if someone feels differently about the marriage. So unless someone comes forward with scandalous information such as one of you is already married, you’re not of legal age, or you’re being illegally forced into marriage.
True objections would have to come from a government entity or a local county clerk notifying that the union should be void, and not a bitter ex-lover who can’t accept that either of you has moved on.
This means that unless there is legal merit to stop or discard the ceremony, there will only be an awkward interval in the ceremony (probably with the bride and groom telling that person to leave) whilst guests murmur between themselves.
Therefore, if a bitter ex-girlfriend/boyfriend or a secret admirer objects to your union then unless they have revelations or proof of any adultery then there is no reason why the ceremony should not be resumed.
Typically, the officiant will take the bride and groom into a nearby room to make sure they’re ok and to solve the situation, and then come back out to resume the wedding if it’s not a serious objection.
Unfortunately, it’s the nature of the situation that people will discuss the objection at your wedding even days or weeks after it has happened. It’s quite a rare occurrence nowadays and many people will love to share the tale with friends.
What Should You Do If Someone Objects At Your Wedding?
Your actions will depend on who’s objecting at your wedding and what is the reason behind it. However, you should always deal with the matter privately away from your guests, not only for the privacy of you and your partner but also respectfully for the objectifier.
You don’t want a dramatic soap-opera scenario in the middle of your wedding, so solving the situation behind closed doors will help keep everything calm so you can finally resume the wedding.
If you no longer want the objectifier to be part of your day, then you have the right to ask them to leave and hopefully, a member of the church or your family will escort them off the premises so they can no longer cause further disruption.
Once you and your partner have returned to your places at the altar, ask the officiant to make an apology to your guests or you could make a brief announcement yourself depending on how you’re feeling.
Unfortunately, it’s the nature of the situation that people will discuss the objection at your wedding even days, weeks, or months after it has happened. It’s quite a rare occurrence nowadays and many people will love to share the tale with people they come across.
Hopefully, any objection won’t be too serious or ruin your wedding day and you and your partner will look back on years to come and laugh at the situation.
What Precautions To Take To Make Sure No One Objects?
As we said, as long as there is no legal merit for the union not to continue in the ceremony, then the person objecting will have no standing and you can still resume.
However, you may want to take some precautions to make sure this never happens on your big day.
Hopefully, all your close circle of family and friends should be overjoyed for you and your partner, however, it may be a good idea to have a private conversation with parents, siblings, and close friends to make sure they’re happy with your decisions going forward. If you sense any animosity towards your union, then try to air it out with them before the big day so there isn’t a chance of an interruption.
It may be a good idea to not invite any ex-partners who you ended on bad terms with, even if you two are friends now or they’re a close friend of your family. Weddings can stir up emotions and you never know what someone might do or act in a specific moment. Whilst they may have claimed that what happened between you is in the past, they may try and seek revenge by ruining your big day.
Another precaution would be to have security on the door on your wedding day to prevent any intruders or uninvited guests from entering and causing a disturbance to the ceremony.
Can You Prevent Someone From Objecting At Your Wedding?
If you’re part of an Anglican or Episcopal church then chances are the ‘speak now or forever hold your peace’ line will be a part of the ceremony script. However, this doesn’t mean that it’s indefinitely in there.
Depending on how conservative your church is or how flexible your officiant is, you may be able to adjust this line or remove it entirely. You will need to discuss this with your wedding officiant early on and make clear that you don’t want this in your wedding. However, you may have to seek out many wedding officiants as some are super conservative and don’t like straying from the traditional wedding ceremony script.
If you’re not having a religious wedding, then you’ll have no obligation to keep this line in your ceremony script. A secular alternative would be to ask your friends, family, and guests of your wedding for their support in the decision to marry each other and if anyone has any concerns.