Is Marriage Easy or Hard?

Easy hard by Stuart Miles freedigitalphotos.netDo you find it interesting that many marriage experts say marriage is work—maybe even hard work—while others say it should be easy? Well, which is it?

That’s why the article Making Your Marriage Easy from Hitched Magazine by Dr. Corey Allan caught my attention. Dr. Allan says he used to believe marriage was hard, but the hard part is the difficulty of interacting with an immature human; when we both act like grown ups, marriage can be easy. He says we often get bogged down with the nonessential, or lose sight of the fact that we each get to make decisions. This isn’t a bad thing! It means we are free to choose each other, free to grow, free to embrace change and not get stuck in a rut.

Essentially, Dr. Allan says marriage is about growing up. And your own growth is your own responsibility. So, relax and enjoy your marriage.

To summarize some of his tips:

  • Focus on what you can control. (You. Period.)
  • Simplify your life so that you can savor more of the good things in your life and marriage.
  • Slow down. Enjoy your conversations and interactions. Breathe.
  • Remember married life is easy.
  • Think of yourselves on the same team—not as opposing teams.

Read the article at Hitched here.

Lori Lowe is the author of First Kiss to Lasting Bliss: Hope & Inspiration for Your Marriage. It tells the inspiring, true stories of couples who used adversity to improve their marriages–from overcoming drug addiction to cancer, infidelity, religious differences, family interference and infertility, among many others. It’s available at and in all e-book formats at


Please let me digress for a minute to briefly tell you about a marriage research student who could use some help from you wonderful readers. A graduate student at Clark University in Worcester, MA, has asked for help in distributing this information. Thanks to those who qualify and can help.

Participate in a survey on couples and alcohol use and enter to win a raffle!

Are you and your spouse legally married and at least 18 years of age?
Do you or your partner currently consume alcoholic beverages at least once a month? Is alcohol use an area of disagreement in your marriage?

If you answered yes to the above questions, you and your spouse are eligible to participate in a research survey regarding the relationship between your marriage and your alcohol-related help seeking behaviors. When you both complete the survey, you will each be entered into a raffle for one of four $50 gift cards!

The survey will take each participant approximately 20 minutes, and survey responses will be anonymous.

Photo by Stuart Miles copyright by

6 responses to “Is Marriage Easy or Hard?

  1. They said marriage is never that easy BUT it’s WORTH it 😉

  2. This line is so true: “but the hard part is the difficulty of interacting with an immature human; when we both act like grown ups, marriage can be easy. “

  3. I am married for 15 years now and many times I thought about divorce. But one day (it’s about 2 years now in the past) I made the decision that I love this man and I don’t want a divorce. I really want to stay with him forever. Since then I learned a lot about successfull marriages, read a tons of books and yes the interacting thing is the hardest part for a individual. But it is really worth it!

  4. I think if the two of you started out as good friends (like my better half and I) and were able to maintain that solid footing into marriage then it can be easier than for some people who may not have had the opportunity to really get to know the other party deeply before the nuptials. When a lot of the initial magnetism is about looks, hormones and not much else, then marriage can be a chore. If you can get the whole package including a deep, strong emotional and intellectual bond with one another then, from my experience, you’ll definitely come out ahead of the “norm”.

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