Are you chasing time or cherishing time?

This time of the summer each year I become a little melancholy due to the marking of time by my kids birthdays and my own, as well as nearing another school year. I’ve often struggled with looking back far too often, lamenting the lost time, rather than enjoying the present.

You may have noticed fewer posts this summer, and that’s due to me wanting to cherish more family time while my kids are off for summer break. Yet even though we share many hours a day and most of our meals together, I still feel time is passing faster each year. Do you feel that way? My dear grandmother, who is sadly not long for this world, says each year got faster and faster for her, clear into her 90s when seasons would pass in the blink of an eye.

I am especially grateful for a long history with my husband that allows us to reminisce our travel days before kids, and the infant days of no sleep, and many memories with extended families. Sharing memories with him somehow makes them seem more permanent and important.

The point of this post, other than rambling on about life being short, is that we all aim to live each day in a way that we will look back with fondness. Making time for our husband or wife, spending fun time with family and friends–these are treasures we won’t regret. It’s only through spending time together that we can keep our connection strong.

On the other hand, juggling too-busy schedules with too many activities doesn’t leave time for spontaneous memories. It isn’t enough to schedule a great two-week vacation each year if  your life is otherwise chaotic and stressful. Particularly in marriage, we need regular intervals to relax and reconnect, to breathe and appreciate the present.

What about you? Do you often dream of the future? Spend your time thinking of the past? If you are good about living in the present, please share your tips for the rest of us.

Special note: My grandmother passed away the day after this post and is now at peace. She had a wonderful way of treasuring time with family.

Lori Lowe is the founder of Marriage Gems and author of First Kiss to Lasting Bliss: Hope & Inspiration for Your Marriage. It tells the inspiring, true stories of couples who used adversity to improve their marriages–from overcoming drug addiction to cancer, infidelity, religious differences, family interference and infertility, among many others. It’s available at and in all e-book formats at Note: Amazon has First Kiss to Lasting Bliss currently discounted at $13.95 for a hard copy and $8.19 for the Kindle edition! A pdf is available for $7.99.

Photo by Winnond courtesy of

7 responses to “Are you chasing time or cherishing time?

  1. Great post Lori. I used to be a lot more like you looking back into the past so I understand where you are coming from. I’ve learnt to live much more in the present and future tense now although I’m not sure how I quite managed it as it was a gradual process.

    What I do know is that I was down for a period of a time and came to the realization I’d wasted a good year of my life without much to show for it. So I resolved to always look on the positive side and to date I have managed that.

    I think, now I think about it, that the turning point was to stop worrying about what could of been or what might be and to instead just focus on the day to day. I get stressed if I think to far into the future about the what ifs and so just focus on the day at hand. Its made for a far happier life and relationships.

    It’s easier said than done I know but focus on what you have rather than have not. That was my saving grace I think. Just living in the hear and now and just enjoying the moment. So now I pretty much do not plan anything more than a couple of weeks in advance. It’s helped me enormously.

    Great post lovely lady. I hope you have a memorable summer with the family.

  2. Thanks for your input. I do agree that focusing on gratefulness is a benefit and helps keep the focus on the positive. I’ve gotten much better about not worrying since I understand there is nothing constructive or helpful that can come of it. I just wish at times I could hold onto the younger years of my kids. However, I’m proud of the people they are developing into.

  3. Here’s my take on marriage and communication. I really think that moving towards less replay/rewind : see my blog post for explanation and let me know your thoughts!

  4. So sorry to hear about your loss, Lori. I remember you told us you made a trip recently to be with her on her birthday, and I hope that is a comfort to you all. Our heartfelt condolences and prayers,

    Pia Harry & Yinny

  5. Thanks so much. Welcome home!

  6. I have been trying lately to be more intentional about how I use my time, focusing it more on things that are important to my life with my husband and children. I am trying to focus on the present, rather than worrying about the future (which is my natural inclination). I have actually listed several things that are important to me, that I want to focus on, and am trying to choose my activities based on those priorities. None of this is easy, but I am working on it. I am happy to have discovered your blog.

    • Thanks for sharing your thoughts and challenges! I’m also glad you discovered the blog. Please feel free to chime in anytime.

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