The Longer We’re Married, The Better It Gets

It’s been a while since I have read an article as positive about marraige as this one by Jeanine Earnhart at Huffington Post. The article is called “Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.” It began with Earnhart admiring an older married couple, picturing her own marriage at that stage. Earnhart makes her point by sharing her marital experience:

“The longer we’re married, the better it gets and I’d like to think that is a pattern that will continue. Whether you have been married a few years, 25 years or in the planning stages of your wedding, know that there is a future filled with rewards from the work you are putting into your relationship now. The “gold watch” or the “bonus” from years of marriage cannot be seen or worn or spent, but felt by an invisible connection between you and your partner.”

It’s great to hear such a positive sentiment about aging and about staying with the same person. Rather than being stifling, it’s nourishing and fulfilling.

“It is a good feeling to know that your partner will be with you through the best and the worst parts of your life. Here is a friend who is offering unconditional love, appreciating you for who you are and for who you have become. To be able to sit in a room with another person, not saying a word, and not feeling like you should be talking, yet knowing there is an invisible bond between you, is like the safety you feel when coming home.”

I know there are many single readers here, and it’s not my intent to say married life is a better choice for everyone. However, for those who choose married life, I think it’s great to share the positive experiences and comfort you experience.

Read the entire post, and then share with your partner what you think your future will look like together. Spend 10 minutes together and talk about what you imagine growing old together to be like.

Unfortunately, for an increasing number of older adults, marriage isn’t lasting to old age. This article from the U.K. states that a growing number of over 60s are seeking divorce. Divorce rates in England are up 4 percent in two years for this age group, but down for other age groups. “Experts claim that many older couples are drifting apart out of disillusionment in their marriages once their children have flown the nest.”

It’s a good reminder that we can’t expect a close, loving relationship to last for decades without investing time and energy to maintain it, and without keeping it a priority over our kids and our careers.

Read my post at called 7 Lessons for a Stronger Marriage with lessons from my book. Thanks to Cathy Meyer for sharing.

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Photo by Ambro courtesy of

9 responses to “The Longer We’re Married, The Better It Gets

  1. My wife and I discussed what we pictured as we grow old together. We are both in still in our 20s, but we have been blessed with a set of grandparents each who had strong marriages well into their 70s and 80s. So while a lot of our picturing is based on others’ lives, at least we have great examples to look at!

    • Lucky you! So few people have solid role models like that. Congratulations and I hope your love is just as long-lasting.

  2. Lori,
    I was thinking about this old adage last night – come grow old with me the best is yet to be, and had to stop and think about it. When I thought of this in my 20’s it sounded so romantic to grow old together.

    Now Tom and I are about to celebrate 33 years together in February. He is 57. I am 52. We are closer to old age than we are to young age, yet the work marriage requires continues. Oh, it is fun and we enjoy our time together, but I somehow thought when we got older “the best” would be easier. Just as newlyweds need to realize after the wedding comes the hard work that is SO worth, so too, growing old together is hard work that I believe will be worth it.

    Never let your guard down. Never stop investing your time, prayers and encouragement towards your spouse. The best that is yet to be is most likely in the process not the destination.


  3. Hi Debi. That’s an interesting perspective. It’s also true that when we are older we may have more health challenges and physical limitations, so it’s not always easy. Sometimes I think marriage isn’t hard work at all, it’s a lot of fun. And other times, particularly when outside stresses interfere, it is more work to be loving and sacrificial. I will try to enjoy the process. 😉 Thanks,

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  6. Congratulations on your nomination. We found your site through the contest and know this will be a valued resource to our budding marriage.

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