How to Make Everyday Marriage Feel More Romantic

I’m the first to admit everyday marriage can lose its luster. Monday mornings are particularly difficult for most families. We have all our “have-to-dos” running through our minds. We’re lucky to spare a second for a brief peck on the cheek.

Here are a six ways to make your week feel more romantic.

  1. Leave a small note for your spouse somewhere they will find it during the work day (in their brief case, on the washing machine door, on the bathroom mirror). You can just say, “Love you” or you can say you enjoyed the weekend, or thank them for any small thing. Or, go the extra mile and make or buy a card and either mail it to your honey or leave it for them. If you’re very short on time, at least send a text or email.
  2. Make plans to have some time to connect during the week. Can you have a short lunch together? Or have a drink on the patio after the kids are in bed? Fit something into your schedule to talk about something other than how to manage your schedules.
  3. Ask for what would please you. Even though we often perceive that our spouse knows what we are thinking after all this time together, it’s not true. If you want to go out more, or if you need a little down time after you come home for work, or if you’d like to be surprised more, or have him bring home chocolate, share this gently with your partner while you’re having quiet time. (Don’t snap about it after getting into an argument over who was supposed to empty the dishwasher.)
  4. Touch more. The U.S. is very unaffectionate compared to other cultures. Many families are also very non-touchy. But research shows couples (or even friends or sports teams) are strengthened by more touching. Make an extra effort to give a touch, a hug, a kiss, a pat or any kind of affection throughout the day, not just as a precursor to making love. How many times did you touch yesterday?
  5. Plan something soon you can both look forward to—a visit to a new museum or restaurant, snuggling to watch football on Sunday, or going on a bike ride together after work one evening. It’s great if you also have something more long-term, like a vacation getaway, to look forward to. Having something positive on the agenda helps you on those Monday mornings when things are feeling way too hectic.
  6. Think positive, grateful thoughts about your spouse even when you can’t be together. When you’re stuck in an endless meeting, or driving carpool, or waiting at the doctor’s office, think positive thoughts or say a prayer for your spouse. Positivity and gratefulness (as well as prayer) have all been shown in research to benefit relationships.

It’s so easy to let the busyness of life push the priority of our marriage down. But tiny investments in time and attention can pay dividends.

Photo by photostock courtesy of

7 responses to “How to Make Everyday Marriage Feel More Romantic

  1. Lori,
    Great ideas. Tom and I have made Monday nights our weekly date nights for as long as I can remember. It has made me LOVE the beginning of the week, and Mondays most of all. Another plus, restaurants aren’t crowded on Monday nights and they will often have specials not available on the weekend. Not to mention, it’s easier to find a babysitter. 🙂 Yep, I’m a big fan of Mondays!

  2. Good tip, Debi, esp for the reasons you mention. Thanks! Hope you are feeling better.

  3. Great reminders to keep the romance alive! A funny story and words of warning regarding Tip #1: I once sent my husband a semi-racy card to his office, thinking that would be a fun way to keep the fires burning. Only a few days later, once he received the card, did I find out that the office ladies open all the mail, INCLUDING letters and cards addressed directly to specific people. Oops!

  4. Whoops! That’s pretty funny. Guess they think you have a strong marriage though. 😉

  5. good article. stumbled across it while I was looking up themes hehe.
    I especially liked how you asked “how many times did you touch yesterday?” I hope I can always keep these things in mind

  6. Pingback: Happy Hour | The Romantic Vineyard

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