Survey Shows American Couples are Too Sleep Deprived for Sex

“Keeping the Sparks Alive” Series

Last week, the CBS Early Show reported on a new sex survey of married Americans with children. The study found 70 percent of respondents were too sleep deprived to make love after a full day of work, including jobs, parenting and home responsibilities. Watch the story here.

The survey showed couples under age 30 or in the honeymoon phase of their relationship had sex approximately two to three times week. Those over 30 had sex about once a week. Over age 60, they had sex about once a month. After sharing all these stats, they advised not comparing yourselves to other couples.

The show’s psychologist says she is hearing “I’m just too tired” from many more couples. She says three things affect the quality of your love life—first, health and hormones; second, how tired you are; and third, how happy the relationship is. A problem in any area will mean the sex life won’t be as great.

She advised couples need to prioritize time to get to know one another and connect. Here are the tips shared:

  • “Skip the trip to the mall” and other non-essential errands.
  • Remember that having sex re-energizes the body and the libido.
  • Take the time to be together.
  • Get up a half hour earlier and start the day making love instead of trying to find the energy at the end of the day.
  • Make your marriage, not your kids, the priority.
  • Get more sleep; it affects every area of your life.
  • Take an occasional day off to sleep instead of going away on vacation.

I thought the suggestions were useful, other than the last one, which is probably not realistic for most people. However, perhaps going in to work an hour or two late on occasion may be more doable than taking the whole day off to sleep. The other tip I would add is to trade childcare with friends who have children so you can have a night out (or in).

What suggestions do you have for fighting exhaustion and making your marriage a top priority?

Related Links:

New York Times columnist Ross Douthat discusses why monogamy still feels good in today’s world. He also shares a few details from a new survey that shows virginity is increasing among those aged 14 to 22. I thought he had an interesting take on monogamy as a separate issue from morality. His article was reprinted in papers across the country last week.

Photo credit:©Yuriy Poznukhov/

4 responses to “Survey Shows American Couples are Too Sleep Deprived for Sex

  1. We make sure that we turn the TV off as soon as the kids go to bed and spend the rest of the evening giving our full attention to eachother.

  2. Hi Lori, I wrote a blog post about “Too Tired for Sex” six months ago because the issue comes up all of the time in my clinical practice and marriage seminars. Feel free to share with your readers. Hope it helps!

  3. Pingback: Weekender Links | MyOneResolution

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