Pour Love on Your Spouse

 Love Everyday is on a blog tour! This week, it’s my turn to share with you the section I contributed called Pouring on Love, which offers details on how to truly invest your energy into your spouse. The e-book version offers 26 other great posts for you to enjoy.

 Last Week: In case you missed it, Television and Relationships was posted by Stu at The Marry Blogger.

What you are about to read is only one piece of a 27-page collaborative e-book written to help you learn how to make your marriage extraordinary amidst the chaos of life.  After reading this post, be sure to download a complete copy of LOVE EVERYDAY absolutely free!

How to Pour Love on Your Spouse

While we can’t control the amount of happiness produced in our relationships, we can control the amount of love and effort poured into them. Gaining a little more happiness is like gaining a little more money; you always want more. But giving and receiving love generates fulfillment. There are myriad ways to show love, but we know love when we see it, hear it, read it, and feel it. Love is in the details, the thoughtfulness, the caring.

When you act in a loving—even sacrificial—manner, you experience The Paradox of Giving. This is the secret your grandparents knew about:  It is in giving that we receive. The joy and love you give returns to you. Yes, it is risky to invest yourself fully. If you have chosen your partner well, the return is often much higher than expected. A couple who focuses on the other’s needs experiences joy and deep satisfaction that makes fleeting happiness look like leftover casserole—fine, but nothing to write home about.

How can you pour on love? Voraciously study your spouse. Put as much energy into that research as in your career and hobbies. Try to understand and participate in their interests as they change over time—recreational, musical, romantic, sexual and culinary interests. Ask about your partner’s hopes, preferences, desires, dislikes, and fears. Encourage their dreams. Communicate your needs and desires as well.  Be the one who knows them best, and help them to know your heart. Learn new things together. Express how important he or she is to you. Have fun together. Show at least one act of kindness each day—send a short email, cook a meal, give a backrub.

Give your respect, vulnerability, time, undivided attention, intimacy, patience, fidelity, commitment and devotion. Do it without keeping score. Do it without stopping. Do it with love.

Individual freedom and personal happiness are two of the highest American ideals. The pursuit of happiness takes up most of our time and energy, while learning to be loving is perhaps an afterthought. The success of all our relationships depends on how we love.

How do you pour love into your relationship and make your spouse feel truly cared for?

9 responses to “Pour Love on Your Spouse

  1. You have personified the Proverbs 31 woman, but I think that you know that. You echo the sentiments of a former writer, Marabelle Morgan and the Total Woman as well as a more current writer Laura Scheslinger.

    Feminism has encouraged women to be selfish and self centered and to not respect their husbands.

    You sound like everyman’s dream wife and your husband is lucky to have you.

    I am going to copy your blog post and put it up on my blog, giving you credit of course.

    Blessings on you and yours
    John Wilder

  2. We, too, love this post! We’re posting on our FB Fan Page to give our readers a glimpse of what this excellent e-book has to offer. Thank you for sharing!

  3. Thank you both for sharing with you readers!

  4. Hi there. Thanks for all your posts about strengthening marriages. It’s really helped me in my own endeavors and ambitions of getting married (as a currently engaged person). However, we’re students and we need help.


    Any contributions would help so we could have a wonderful marriage and start our lives together.

    Thank you!

    • Shawn, I’m excited that you are working to educate yourself about marriage before you’re even there. I wish you and Christa all the best and I will check out your blog.

  5. Me too! Me too!

    I always enjoy your insightful writing, Lori, but this one blows me away. I recall reading this when I first downloaded the ebook a while back. It’s what made me a faithful follower of your blog.

    I plan to quote much of this post and link to it in my own blog tomorrow, time permitting.

    Thanks for reminding us about the importance to selfless giving. So good!

    • Scott, you are too kind. Selfless giving is one of the ultimate keys to a longlasting marriage. I’m glad the post struck a chord with you as well. All the best,

  6. I just posted this on my blog true to my word.

    Blessings on you and yours
    John Wilder

  7. Pingback: Free Marriage E-book: Love EveryDay is Available

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