As a followup to the post on “Marriage Haves” and “Have Nots”, which cited a data-rich article in National Affairs, researcher David Lapp has drawn some very interesting conclusions to the data in his brief, yet eloquent, column with The Witherspoon Institute called, “Marriage as Friendship.” It is definitely worth the read to understand the answer to his crucial question: Is the institution of marriage good for adults, and if so, why? The answers and evidence are thought-provoking and may surprise you.
While marriage has been shown to be beneficial to children, Lapp considers whether we have evidence that it is also beneficial to adults. He divides marriage into two types. The first is the institutional marriage model, which is a lifelong endeavor that seeks to create “the best kind of friendship” bound together by virtue and common good. The second type is the soul-mate model, which prioritizes the adults’ emotional wellbeing and depends on mutual emotional satisfaction.
Lapp brings up many of the common arguments against marriage to determine if they have merit. Without giving away too much detail, following is one of Lapp’s conclusions:
“The institutional model doesn’t guarantee that every married person will thrive, but it does secure marriage to a more solid foundation than utility or pleasure. For adults searching for love, then, the institutional model of marriage is hardly a sentence to slavery, but rather an invitation to the good life.”
What do you think about the “Marriage as Friendship” model? Are you living what he describes as the good life?