How Well Do You Know Your Spouse’s Needs?

Are you sometimes so focused on getting your needs met that you forget that your spouse’s needs may be very different from your own? The successful couples I have interviewed say that by focusing on the needs of their spouse, they have received more than they expected or needed in return.

Barbara Rainey featured a circulating email in a recent article. It’s title: How do you romance a woman?” Answer: “Wine her, dine her, call her, cuddle with her, surprise her, compliment her hair, shop with her, listen to her talk, buy flowers, hold her hand, write love letters, and be willing to go to the end of the earth and back again for her.” Most women would agree with that.

When the question followed, “How do you romance a man” the answer was succinct. “Arrive naked. Bring food.” Clearly men and women see things a little differently.

Ask your spouse how you are doing at meeting his or her needs. Ask if your spouse feels like a priority to you. Even if you both have full-time jobs and a house full of children, your spouse needs to feel like he or she is number one in your life. If your spouse voices concerns, hear them out and take some time to think about how you might address them.

Even if things are going well, make the time to plan something special for next week. Write it on the calendar. Make a date to build some anticipation. Put some romance back in your life. What do you do to keep the spice in your marriage?

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