Aim for Meaningful, not Perfect, Holiday

Christmas tree Salvatore Vuono freedigitalphotos.netIf the holiday season makes you jump for joy, you just might be in the minority. I work very hard to get into the “holiday spirit” and keep a positive outlook even as the season becomes busier. However, we should all remember this season is a time of struggle for many.

Following the Christmas, Hanukkah and New Year celebrations, January rings in the highest divorce rates of the year. Could it be too-high expectations that go unmet? Or holding it together so the family can enjoy one last holiday together? Or is overspending in December creating additional stress in the New Year?

Even if your marriage is strong, be aware of setting unrealistic expectations during the holidays. For example, if you are hoping for a certain kind of gift, make sure it is within your family budget and let your spouse know. He or she is not a mind reader. Try not to aim for perfection with decorating, entertaining, gift giving, etc. Instead, focus on the deeper meaning of the holidays to you. For us, religious significance and celebrations are key.

In addition, try to focus on generosity toward individuals in need or charities that help those in need. It’s well known that helping others will give you a boost in happiness. Helping as a couple or a family can give you a collective boost while also doing good. These acts keep us focused less on creating the perfect material holiday and more on what the spirit of the holidays should be about.

Social connections are good for our mental wellbeing, and in general the holidays and their respective gatherings are helpful to those who are isolated or who suffer from depression. (It’s a myth that suicide rates are highest during the holidays.) However, you probably know many people who long for family members who are no longer around to celebrate. Try to include a neighbor or friend in your gathering who doesn’t have family nearby. Listen to those who are grieving and offer a hand to someone who seems overwhelmed.

Many people are struggling financially during the holiday season, either unemployed or underemployed, or simply living beyond their means.  So even if you manage to put together an extravagant holiday, don’t post about in social media. Instead, focus on gratitude not just for the material things you have but for the meaningful relationships with which you have been blessed.

Let your spouse know that just having them nearby makes each holiday a time of joy for you. And may you and your family be blessed this Christmas.

———————————————————————————————-

Lori Lowe is the author of First Kiss to Lasting Bliss: Hope & Inspiration for Your Marriage. It tells the inspiring, true stories of couples who used adversity to improve their marriages–from overcoming drug addiction to cancer, infidelity, religious differences, family interference and infertility, among many others. It’s available at Amazon.com and in all e-book formats atwww.LoriDLowe.com.  Great for holiday stocking stuffers! Contact me if you would like one mailed in time for Christmas.

Photo by Salvatore Vuono courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net.

About these ads

3 responses to “Aim for Meaningful, not Perfect, Holiday

  1. Great post Lori. We always put a cap on our spending especially for each other. It enables us to not put silly expectations on each other and be more inventive with what we buy. We just got to the point a few years ago of dreading Christmas because of the bill that came in January. Just cutting back and simplifying the whole season has made it far more enjoyable. It’s a time to enjoy each other’s company and just enjoy doing family things together again. I just hope couples who are facing the strain don’t turn on each other to try and keep up with “the joneses”.

    Happy Christmas to you and the family
    Love
    Grace

  2. The Desert Rocks

    Nice post Lori. I have the third installment about gifts on my blog too. Though the holidays are stressful for everyone it’s always good to “aim for the meaningful.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s