Is True and Lasting Love Possible?

Unfortunately, there are plenty of examples around us of couples who thought that lasting love was possible but now feel they were wrong. When things don’t work out, they conclude–and tell others–that love just doesn’t last. They say things like, “Enjoy it while it lasts,” to those caught in the love bubble.

Maybe you’re wondering if your marriage can last, or if you should even risk entering into marriage with its current success and failure rates. And even if your marriage should the test of time, will the romance and loving feelings remain? I wouldn’t be writing this blog if I didn’t believe love and marriage can endure. So, why do some fail?

There are a handful of must-haves that allow a relationship to work, things that when missing cause your relationship to fizzle or to lead to more conflict and pain than passionate love. Does your relationship have them? Can you develop those that are weak?

The article 7 Secrets to Make True Romance Last from Hitched is a great starting point for those must-haves that keep a marriage strong. When these elements are in place, there is often a peace in the relationship that allows you to work through turbulent times.

Read the full article to hear what psychologists Edwin Locke, PhD, and Ellen Kenner, PhD, have to say about why these traits key for BOTH spouses:

1. Moral character
2. A genuine ego (each person stands for something but also supports the other)
3. Some common values and interests (above moral values)
4. Reasonably compatible personalities that allow you to feel understood and valued
5. Care for your appearance without being vain
6. Good sex with an understanding of how to please each other
7. Constant communication (includes good listening and feeling understood)

The lack of these traits can cause common marital problems, such as not feeling appreciated. You could have additional character traits that are important to you.  A sense of humor has been important in my marriage, allowing us to laugh at our blunders and move on. But when a key item is missing, such as good moral character, it seems everyone around the couple can see things are problematic but one or both of the partners seems initially blind to the faults by infatuation.

Are there items on the list that are deal-breakers to you? Does your marriage have the 7 traits?

Lori Lowe is the founder of Marriage Gems and author of First Kiss to Lasting Bliss: Hope & Inspiration for Your Marriage. It tells the inspiring, true stories of couples who used adversity to improve their marriages–from overcoming drug addiction to cancer, infidelity, religious differences, family interference and infertility, among many others. It’s available at Amazon.com and in all e-book formats at www.LoriDLowe.com.

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8 responses to “Is True and Lasting Love Possible?

  1. How cool that you posted this on the day of my parents 57th wedding anniversary. I just posted their wedding photo on my FB page. I’m thankful that my marriage contains all these 7 ingredients and we work on them as well. Sometimes #7, for example is more “constant” than at other times.

    • That is perfect timing! Happy anniversary to your parents, how awesome that you have their great example to follow, and how awesome that you already have the secret seven! Kudos to you and enjoy your time away. ;-)

  2. yes lasting love is possible in a relationship, it all has to do with breaking the character code effectively during the casual dating phase

  3. true and lasting love is possible, it’s all about learning to break character code effectively

  4. GC at Calm.Healthy.Sexy.

    Thanks for sharing this list. I think it covers all of the important bases. I am going to share it with my sons (college age and young adult) when the time seems right.

  5. Thanks! The time is always right. I talk to my 9 and 11 year olds about what makes a great partner. It’s too easy to fall in love or date someone who isn’t “marriage material”. Best wishes to your family!

  6. Thank you so much for the post, these are all instrumental fundamentals, and true foundation keys to a successful marriage and relationships.

  7. Pastor yousaf Haroon

    From your brother… In the name of the father and of the holy spirit Amen.my living Lord Jesus Christ,we are  praying for this ministry,Jesus give this ministry bless more then more you know this ministry work for you and your people,proved everything,give power,give wisdom they always live in your hands blessed all nation,in the name of Jesus Amen. Grace be with you all.Pastor yousaf

    ________________________________

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