The Most Sexually Satisfied City in the U.S.

I was as suprised as the next person when Men’s Health recently revealed the number-one sexually satisfied city in the U.S. Take a guess. I thought L.A.? New York? San Fancisco? Think Midwest, folks.

My own hometown of Indianapolis, Indiana, received the high honors, followed by Columbus, Ohio; Fort Wayne, Indiana; Cincinatti, Ohio; and Salt Lake City, Utah. Six of the top 10 slots were in the Midwest. Men’s Health says, “Just that the stretch of I-74 linking Indianapolis to fourth-place Cincinnati should hereafter be known as America’s Sex Drive.”

I’d love to hear your response to this survey. Do you think it’s accurate? And if so, why do you think Midwesterners are more “active”? Is it perhaps less competition for entertainment? The cold weather keeping us indoors? In any case, I think it’s a great opportunity to remind one another that you don’t have to live in an exotic city or look like movie stars to have a satisying sex life.

So, what is the key? I shared this as a guest post a while back, but wanted to add as a resource here…Find the Key to a Passionate Sex Life

A common complaint for long-term married couples is boredom in the bedroom. Yes, new love can be titillating, but having only one monogamous partner doesn’t mean your sex life shouldn’t be entirely fulfilling. In fact, allowing one partner to fully know your sexual needs, preferences and wishes can be ultimately much more fulfilling than having multiple partners. In the book Hot Monogamy—which lives up to its promise of offering “essential steps to more passionate, intimate lovemaking”—author Dr. Patricia Love gives some simple-to implement tips.

  1. Deepen your emotional intimacy. Be honest. Be vulnerable. Be personal. Be real. Sex is never boring when you are intimately connected.
  2. Vary the amount of time you set aside for sex. Sometimes a quickie is just right, especially when it results from spontaneous desire. Often, the routine half-hour, before-bed lovemaking session is perfectly fine. These standbys are necessary with the busy schedules most of us have.
  3. Take your time. Sometimes—perhaps once a month—try to set aside time for a leisurely time period (maybe an hour or more) during which you can share massages, creative sensuality, sharing of fantasies, or slowly pleasing one another. Dr. Love suggests adding 12 leisurely lovemaking sessions each year could improve your sex life more than most any other change. Once a month sounds fairly doable, don’t you think?
  4. Get comfortable talking about sex with your spouse. The willingness to talk about sex, your desires, what you want and don’t want from your lover is critical to your sexual satisfaction. “More than any other factor, your ability to talk freely and honestly about sex is the key to a passionate sex life,” says Dr. Love.
  5. Improve your body image. Accept yourself just as you are. If a low body image is keeping you from fully participating in or enjoying sex, talk about your insecurities with your spouse. Work to build confidence, which is sexy in any body. Read Loving a Woman’s Body for feedback from other couples. Dr. Love provides some very specific tips to overcome low body image in Hot Monogamy.
  6. Understand that differences in sexual desire do not mean your partner is rejecting you. Most couples have one more highly sexed partner (generally the man), and higher testosterone levels are one important reason. Compromise and communication help overcome these differences.
  7. Add romance to your daily life, particularly if you want your partner to become more interested in sexual intimacy.  If you don’t know how to do that, simply ask your wife or husband for his or her top 10 suggestions! She or he will be more than happy to share.

Boredom outside of the bedroom can be just as deadly. Research shows conflict isn’t the only cause of divorce; boredom can kill a marriage. Being bored reduces closeness and slowly decreases marital satisfaction. Find shared fun activities and new adventures to keep your relationship exciting.

Ask your spouse what one thing she or he would like to improve about your sex life, or take the quiz in Hot Monogamy together to find specific areas of improvement.

Photo © Leticia Wilson/PhotoXpress.com

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6 responses to “The Most Sexually Satisfied City in the U.S.

  1. Yeah! I’m so proud of our city for topping this list! So much better than seeing Indy on some of the other rankings out there. I’m guessing the Midwest dominates the rankings since we generally have a higher number of married couples, and married couples generally have more sex than singles do.

  2. Good point. For details on how they rated cities, go to Men’s Health.

  3. I think in some of the more competitive cities (NYC, L.A.) people look glamorous and sexy, but really are not having a lot of sex as their lives are too fast-paced and hectic. If you have a slower pace and spend lots of time together, you are bound to be more emotionally close and fall into bed more often!

  4. At first I wasn’t sure of the methodology used – cash register receipts of romance and sex stuff, but then I thought – isn’t sex, in a safe nurturing marriage supposed to be FUN! So yoo-hoo for Indy, getting the cred for fun under the covers of something else besides the RCA dome!
    PS my city came in 7th.

  5. I really don’t think it has much to do with the cold weather. If it was the cold weather keeping us inside then where is Alaska on the list. Probably has more to do with the percentage of married couples.

  6. I think these stats sound spot on. Traditional families seem to have their priorities in line: marriage, children, etc. These are the things that bring me satisfaction and fulfillment.

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